I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
