Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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