so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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