Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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