I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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