Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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