that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
and eventually we just all took our pants off
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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