I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just gift wrapped bread.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
