Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
