fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
