So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
