It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
