drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
