kristin has been a bad kristin
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
