It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
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