I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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