What a fucking waste of an outfit
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
