I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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