UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
