i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
