I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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