his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
