i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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