I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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