Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
