I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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