at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
