she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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