someone get that fucking seahorse.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
