he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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