i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
