Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I think people are normalizing furries
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
