I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize