Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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