I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
