Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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