You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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