Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
