Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sorry about my life...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
