Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
