lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
