hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
