paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
