That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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