I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize