good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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