So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
