I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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