p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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