in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
No stitches, just platelets and will power
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize