I CAN MOONWALK!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am midnight drunk by noon
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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