take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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