I bet he comes in French.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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