I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
