I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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