You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
