Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
