You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm too high and old for this...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
