I accidentally had phone sex last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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