don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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