Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
