i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
