The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
