I just cut my nipple shaving
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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