I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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