Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
