Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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